Parent In A Way That Makes Sense To You
It’s taken me 1.5 years to learn this the hard way. I’m here to tell you why you should parent in a way that makes sense to you as opposed…
It’s taken me 1.5 years to learn this the hard way. I’m here to tell you why you should parent in a way that makes sense to you as opposed to experimenting with everyone else’s opinions on what will work on your child.
As a parent, you don’t need to know everything.
I know many of us have the tendency to feel that we must know what to do in every instance. You don’t. Trust me. Sometimes, you don’t need to know why your child is crying or why they are being fussy. Just let them be. I had to learn this the hard way. When my son, Noah would cry without reason (after being fed and changed) I realized that babies cry… many times without reason. And the moment I stopped holding him at every crying session, he realized that eventually I was no longer attending to his false alarms! Also, SO many people would tell me that I’m being harsh for doing so. But guess, what — I’m his mother and that’s the approach that made sense to me. Plus it works.
Stop seeking everyone’s opinion.
When I knew I wanted to stop breastfeeding Noah, which was when he was nine months old, I was told this was not the right age to wean him off. People told me that if I breastfed Noah until he was one year old, he would get all the immunity-building nutrients to never fall sick. Truth be told, I just wanted him off my boob. I was leaping back into my career and I felt that I couldn’t manage to breastfeed and focus on my career goals. In the beginning, I would read so many blog posts about people implying how detrimental it can be to wean a baby off early on. I realized that the more opinions I read, the cloudier my judgement got. So, I stopped reading. I sat down and figured out what I wanted. And I realized, that my choice of not breastfeeding would not be harmful to my baby. I refused to let anyone tell me so.
Take each day as it comes.
I’m a planner. I always have been. I own too many journals and planners to even lie that I am not. I love writing out what my day is going to look like. I’m lowkey obsessed with to-do lists. After having Noah, I realized that no matter how brilliantly I try to plan my day, it just never really goes as planned. Babies are unpredictable. And so parenting is not about getting it right. It’s about taking it one day at a time. Some days will be awesome and others will lag. That’s okay. Not everyday needs to be perfect. But not every day should be over-whelming. If you stop planning in so much detail, you’ll realize the little joys spontaneity brings.
Other people’s experiences don’t have to be yours.
This is a life lesson. Just because someone else has experienced something particular does not mean that your experience will be the same. It’s okay to ask for someone’s experience to get insights but it’s not okay to think that just because someone went through a particular instance, that you will too. Noah started walking after his first birthday. Many people would ask me why he’s not walking at 9 months. Some even asked me why he wasn’t walking on his first birthday. They’d tell me how their children started walking earlier. I never understood why people think that just because they experience a certain milestone earlier/later, that others have to as well?
Look within yourself for answers, first.
So many times, I would ask others for parenting advice because I was too lazy to figure things out myself. It’s easier to listen to what others suggest. The truth is, you know the answers. Well, most of the time I think. Sometimes, you need to really look within yourself. Do you think your child needs to be put in daycare or have an in-home nanny? Do you feel your child is ready to start sleeping by themselves or do you want to continue co-sleeping? Do what makes sense to you.
Parenting is not an easy journey. Every journey is different and has its fair shares of ups and downs. You learn from experiences and honestly, I feel that parenting is a continuous cycle of figuring of what works and doesn’t work for you and your family. The best part is, that this journey is unique. So enjoy it. Learn from it. Allow it to let you grow. The only way you will manage to do this is by parenting in a way that makes sense to you!